The Underpants Apocalypse

As I was walking down rue Sainte-Catherine the other night a young man walking in front of me had his pants pulled down below his cheeks, with his tightie whities showing. (This is even worse, I think, than when there are boxers to shield the view. Tightie whities kind of ... cling. *shudders*) This event reminded me of a theory I've developed since the whole, you-wanna-see-my-underpants? trend began.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, boys with their pants below their butts will be eaten first.

Here is my reasoning: If the zombie horde is charging behind you, you're gonna need to run full out. Which means you can't hold onto your pants because you'll need full arm range of motion to get up to top speed. Which means your unsupported pants are going to fall to your ankles. Which means you will trip and fall to the ground and the zombie horde will be on you like last week's brains.

While I used to look at these boys with disgust (seriously guys, we really don't want to see that) now I'm kind of appreciative. It's like they're sacrificing themselves so the rest of us may live. Next time you see a pair of tightie whities mooning the world, thank the wearer. His butt just might save yours one day.

Hugs,
TLC