Ever since my editor first suggested the title OH. MY. GODS, whenever I think those words ... my mind drifts back in time. I go back to high school, my junior year, when there was a really popular hip hop song called Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot. It's not the song itself that I think about (because really, a song about a guy who likes big booties doesn't have much to do with my book) but the opening discussion.
(Directions: Read with a total valley girl accent.)
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.It's a little crude, yes. (Okay, a lot crude.) If you want to see how crude the whole song is, you can Google the video on YouTube or see the complete lyrics and listen to the song on Rhapsody. (Note the explicit lyrics warning, though.)
It is so big. She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!
This is also the same song Burger King is using for their SpongeBob commercials.
Anyway, the whole point of this is the contest. You can see, right, why that opening line comes to mind with OH. MY. GODS.? I want you to take that opening and rewrite it as a (much nicer, please) poem. There are two rules.
- Nothing crass, crude, degrading, or otherwise yucky.
- Your poem has to begin with "Oh. My. Gods. Phoebe, look at her..."
Wanna know what you can win? Well, I'm going to be giving away five (5) -- count 'em FIVE -- copies of the OH. MY. GODS. paperback. (For anyone who already has OH. MY. GODS. you can choose to wait a month and get a copy of GODDESS BOOT CAMP instead.)
You can enter your poem by either leaving it in comments, posting it elsewhere and sharing the link in comments, or emailing it privately to tlc (at) teralynnchilds (dot) com.
Want to double your chances to win? Then make your poem into a video and post it either on YouTube or on the Goddess Boot Camp Ning.
Deadline for the contest is midnight Pacific Time on Sunday, May 17th (aka the day before my dad's birthday).
Your daily GODDESS BOOT CAMP Teaser:
And the benefit of the doubt is hard to hold on to.No clues this time. Now, get writing, godlets!